August 22, 2011

The Stripper/Librarian Dilemma

In The Ugly Truth, the movie with the gorgeous Katherine Heigl and the equally good-looking Gerard Butler, Mr. Butler's character tells Ms. Heigl's character that in order to be a perfect woman with girlfriend or wife potential, she has to be both the stripper and the librarian. She has to be witty and stunning. She has to be able to hold a conversation but look good in a tight backless dress. 

In Crazy Stupid Love, the movie with Steve Carrell, Julianne Moore, Ryan "Photoshopped" Gosling, and Emma Stone, Mr. Carrell's character tells his wife that she is both wildly sexy and incredibly cute. This, in the movie and in life, is the ultimate compliment. Girls want to be cute, silly, and funny, but don't want to lose the spotlight to some other girls wearing higher heels or lower shirts. 

Unfortunately, both of these movies hit on a real truth. The truth is, no man wants to be in a serious relationship with a slut. However, not many men want to date a prude, either. You can't be just a stripper. You can't be just a librarian. You can't be only sexy, and you can't be only cute. You have to have a bit of both, or rather a bit of all 4. Of course there are exceptions, but I am talking about the over-arching rule of thumb.The girls that have the most success in the dating world are going to be the ones that achieve the perfect balance of sexy and smart.

Now, finding the right balance between sexy and smart is not always easy. In my opinion, it is more important to be true to yourself than to try and fit into the "perfect girlfriend" mold. No boy or man is worth your time if you have to change who you are for them to like you. But, it can't hurt to be aware of the dilemma since you have probably at some point felt the pressure to be sluttier, smarter, sexier, or cuter. 

The answer to this life-long dilemma, I think, is confidence. Confidence makes any girl, or man for the matter, seem smarter, sexier, and cuter. Be confident when you walk into a room, and be confident when you talk about what you want to do with your future. If you doubt your brain or your looks, so will everyone else.
I know this is easier said than done. I personally struggle with this dilemma often, and regularly have to rely on by family and my boyfriend to provide me with the confidence I need to feel like I am smart, sexy, and altogether doing things right.

I think the librarian/stripper dilemma comes into play in more places than just romantic relationships, though. At work, at school, and at the gym, you want to look good and be taken seriously. You want to feel good about yourself and show others what you know and what you can do. With some confidence, this can be much easier to achieve.

I'm in no way claiming to have all the answers. This is just one minor observation. I applaud the, um, strippers of the world and the librarians alike if they are able to find happiness living in one extreme or the other. Also, I know that a lot more goes into being a well-rounded person than just sex appeal and brains. When I heard those quotes in both of those movies, however, they hit home. They made me realize, once again, that life is all about balance.

I'd really love to know what other people think about the stripper/librarian dilemma. Do other women feel effected by the pressure? Do guys agree that this is the perfect combination? I'm excited to hear some input!




  1. Hiya

    Thanks for your lovely comments on my blog I am now a follower of your blog.

    I so like your post, its so true. I think you have to be a bit of both. Thats nice to think that you think I have that.
    I do lack confidence same as you and do need re-assurance but I also think too much confidence is a bad thing.


  2. I've dated a stripper, but never a librarian. Egads, college...

  3. i want to see crazy stupid love so badly.
    but you're totally right, you really do have to be both.
    and find the perfect balance.

  4. This is a very real dilemma and I agree it's all about staying true to who you are AND the values you have. This helps dictate how far you will go to look sexy and to what degree of librarian you will be.

    And to be fair...guys should be that perfect balance of manly and sweet right? (Lumberjack/poet?) ;-)